I have two problems with the world:
1. Self limiting beliefs
2. Cammo weddings
Cammo weddings because I’ll be honest, I just don’t like them. Unless, in lieue of hiring a caterer, the wedding party is going out after the ceremony to forage for the wedding meal, there is no acceptable reason to deck out a wedding party in cammo. I will admit, I have a hard time not prejudging your character when you desire cammo make an appearance at your wedding.
Self limiting beliefs are kind of like the common cold in my opinion. They can be contagious, passed from person to person, and can make a big snotty mess of your life for no reason other than just to be inconvenient.
We have all been subject to self limiting beliefs at one time or another.
They wreak havoc on your life, your goals, your realtionships. Nasty buggers.
And many of us are still struggling with them, right now.
Maybe you have them because your own self confidence has become a pro at waging epic battles against you. Maybe they were projected onto you from someone else, say an overly demanding boss, an impossible to please instructor, or that curt woman from your favorite fashion label that took one look at your portfolio during an interview and said “nope”. That’s it, just “nope”.
Plain and simple, as long as you allow it self limiting beliefs will suck the life blood out of your dreams. And not in that sexy, mysterious vampire boyfriend way. Nope this is full on blood sucking – I’mma make you second guess everything – villain style.
Self limiting beliefs. Whatever the reason and wherever the source, they’re bad for you.
Take for example, being stuck in a 9-5 corporate gig that you hate. Mmm, that sounds nice. In this case, society has manipulated self limiting beliefs to their advantage. Instead of rallying you on to your dreams, they entice you with future promises of security, stability, and wealth IF you start at the bottom rung of the ladder and climb your way to the top. They lure you into a carefully crafted fantasy land where making a paycheck is more than enough reward for a hard day’s work. They spin an intricate web of communication that benefits of a job are having access to health care, paid vacation (as long as it doesn’t coincide with a time they don’t approve of) and bonuses (as long as it pads their pockets first).
“You need to gain experience. If you work hard, someday…” they say.
“Aren’t you excited about paid vacation time?” they ask. (“Make sure you get it approved first” they add)
“You need to start somewhere and pay your dues. Don’t get ahead of yourself” they warn.
The repitive, drilled-in manner of these questions and statements have you repeating them to yourself in a sloooow, level monotone so as to convince yourself that “yes, I really do need to start at the bottom, I really do need the experience to someday earn more pay.”
They have you convinced that you must climb your way to the better position. Climb your way to the better pay. Want more power, more respect? That’s right, keep climbing.
But hold up a sec,
When you take a step back, are you able to see what ‘s perched atop that ladder you’re climbing?
Is it something you even want?
If the answer is yes, well than by all means climb away. Bravo for finding your path, keep chugging. And by the way, not quite sure this blog is the right fit for you…
Or, are you just climbing because someone, somewhere told you that’s what you are supposed to do?
*Do we have a bingo?*
I’m just guessing here, but I am going to assume that you my friend are NOT so sure that the ladder leads to what you want. As a matter of fact, I am going to make a not so wild assumption here and say that you are very confident that the particular ladder your clinging to is, in fact, leading you to a future you will loathe.
So, what are you going to do about it?
(* Note that I said what are you going to DO about it. Not what do you think about it. Or, what do I think you should do about it. But what are you going to do about it!)
To get started you need to get clear on what’s holding you back in the first place.
Crack that coccoon open and prod at it a bit. Yeah, it’s probably going to be painful. But far more painful is staying somewhere you really don’t belong for no other reason than ‘because someone told me to’.
Are you cramming yourself into a teeny, tiny mold comprised of everyone else’s thougths and perceptions of you? Are you operating with your end goals in mind, or have you blindly followed those that have been fed to you?
And most importantly, are you ready to break free from self limiting bullshit and make concious, real decisions for your life?
It’s a damn shame that we allow these beliefs to power the way we approach our lives, the way we interract with others, and even dictate the decisions we make about our own happiness. That is some powerful, scary shit. Because of what you have been told you have allowed yourself to buy into the fear. The fear that going for your dreams is hard, and scary, and I might fail, and a steady paycheck is a must have, and I am not good at making interview portfolios…and….and….
Well, so what?
Going for your dreams is hard, it is scary, and yes you might fail. But in the great words of Nelson Mandela:
“There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is
less than the one you are capable of living”
And I for one believe that you owe it to yourself to discover exactly what that life is.
Share in the comments below, what self limiting beliefs have you struggled with?
How are you moving past them?
Remember, you are not alone with your struggles and sharing with others can help you reflect on how far you have come as well as help out a fellow friend who is struggling right now.