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honesty

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    Break the Cycle: Down with Permission Seeking

    Desk Inspiration

    If you are anything like me, you have first hand experience in waiting around for that pesky thing called permission.

    Permission to study what I wanted at school, permission to travel abroad, permission to wear what I wanted, permission to change jobs after I realized my “dream job” wasn’t panning out the way I thought, oh and permission again when the next “dream job” didn’t pan out either.

    Hmm, a creative soul unhappy behind a desk…imagine that.

    When I look back at the decisions I have made in my life (or really scary: the ones I didn’t make) and how I made them, I have come to the upsetting realization that I, like many big hearted, creative, and often times ‘people-pleasers’, have expected someone to give me permission to do everything in my life.

    Everything.

    I was worried about what everyone else would think about my decisions so I left them up to others and remained paralyzed until they relayed their thoughts, which of course didn’t exactly match what I was waiting to hear. Cue the vicious cycle of unhappiness leading to soul searching leading back to permission seeking.

    Exhausting.

    Eventually you learn to distance yourself from making decisions and ultimately start to question yourself. Left unchecked this cycle can ruin your life. You begin to resent those around you that did not give you the permission you sought, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Or worse yet, you begin to resent those around you for the decisions they have made in their lives because you didn’t have the strength to do the same.

    Why am I telling you this? Well, because plain and simple,

    ….I acted stupidly….

    and I want to save you from the same pain and heartache. When you get stuck in a rut, sometimes it can be a bitch to get out of. The sooner you realize that this permission seeking is holding you back and stealing from your life (yes, stealing!) the sooner you can allow yourself to take a more active approach.

    In order to do so you need to come to terms with the hard stuff. You need to ask just how long are you willing to give up the reins for your life to those around you. And more so, how long can you tread water before you give out.

    Banishing your permission seeking will not be easy. It will be hard, it will be uncomfortable, it will be awkward. Why then?

    Because it will also be worth it.

    Pink Hair Don't Care

    So ask yourself, what decision are you ready to grant yourself permission for…

    So you want to wear a red wedding dress with gold sparkles and a fabulous feather flower rather than a veil?

    Do it.

    So you want your mother to walk you down the aisle to Edith Piaf’s ‘La vie en Rose’ played by saxophone rather than the wedding march?

    Do it.

    You want your bestest friends to stand up with you regardless of maid of honor/man of honor or best man/best woman status?

    You want a small ceremony at the courthouse even though your family doesn’t quite understand?

    You want to keep your maiden name after marriage?

    If it’s right for you, DO IT.

    Don’t make the mistake of waiting until it’s too late to recognize what you really want, what you really care about. Give yourself the permission to do it, to go after it, to create it, all of the above. Wouldn’t you like to see how different your life might be if you merely gave yourself the permission to experience it the way you long to?

    So Do It.

    Time to get honest with yourself. What is it that you are seeking permission on at this very moment?

    And are you ready to change it?

    Tell me how in the comments below!

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